Tuesday, April 24, 2012

At least Monday is over...

 So now I have two teenagers in the house.  Megan turned 13 on Sunday, she is almost a tall as I am...wow!  She surprised me with her birthday request of clothes instead of a video game or a toy, she is growing up.  She picked out such a cute outfit too-a skirt and top.  So pretty!
  Right now I am a little stressed out by all that is going on in the next few weeks.  Two spring concerts-one for Amy's orchestra and one for Megan's band.  Casey gets to pick out an instrument next week and get signed up for summer lessons.  Bernhard's schedule is changing every week due to him going forward with management training at Safeway.  He will have a week long training session in Denver at the end of May, so I will have the kids and the house to handle on my own...sigh.
  I have to take 4 days off this next month since Casey will have to miss out on 5th grade field day, a field trip and the 5th grade trip to CalWood.  Maybe someday I will have enough time banked for a real vacation...I can dream can't I?
  I am really looking forward to summer though, I am hoping to spend quite a bit of time at the pool with the kids.  Until then, there is still a science project to finish and pushing the girls to keep their grades up and finish homework and so on and so on.
  Must. Remember. To. Breath.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Really...only Thursday?

  So...here I am at home again, except for the whole day.  Casey is sick and Bernhard is in a meeting in Fort Collins.  This really isn't how I planned my week to go, wait...did I have a plan?  Maybe not.  Anyway, I will be productive and get laundry done, change the sheets on the bed...heck, I may even get some cleaning done-wait, let's not get crazy now!  However, I am having a hard time finding the surface of my desk...I have found the keyboard and room for my coffee cup so it's all good.
  Speaking of plans, one of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11
    "For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."
  And also, Psalm 34:19
    "Many evils confront the (consistently) righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

  I know that God is not caught by surprise, He is not surprised how my days have gone.  Because I trust Him to never leave me or forsake me, I know I am safe in Him.  I am not worried about these circumstances, I will get through them and be ready for the next challenge.  I all too often get caught up with what is going on to really take a step back and see the big picture.  So, today I will count my blessings which are many, and I will be thankful for this new day.  I know I am not in control, but I know the One who is,  I will rest in that heart knowledge and go forward.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012


  So, my youngest, Casey was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome 4 years ago.  It is a form of Autism, and on the autism spectrum he is categorized as highly intelligent with low functioning social/behavioral skills.  This means he has to learn how to behave and interact "normally" with other people.  He can tend to be self-focused and he doesn't always get jokes and especially sarcasm.  To him sarcasm is anger and he takes it literally.  I learned many years ago that sarcasm is a form of anger, and as Casey has difficulty reading facial and body language/queues all he hears is tone of voice.  Being a fairly sarcastic (read-smart mouth) person, I have had to learn not to speak that way around or with Casey.
  This week he was suspended for 2 days from school.  When he gets stressed or anxious, agitated or angry he is to either take a self directed or teacher directed break.  An appropriate break is when he goes quietly to his Special Education teacher's office, where if he needs to have a meltdown he can at that point.  An inappropriate break is when he yells or slams the door on the way to break/and has to be asked more than once to take said break.  Due to an inappropriate break, he was also going to lose iPad privileges in computer lab.  When he was told no iPad, he threatened to hit the school psychologist with a book....therefore, suspension.
  So now, he is home, I am home until Bernhard gets home from work.  Casey has lost Wii and computer privileges at home, and I will have to work on Saturday to make up lost time at my job.
  It has been quite a journey having a child with Asperger's,  challenging to say the least.  So many days I worry when he is at school, wondering if I will get a call that he has misbehaved again.  He takes medication for depression/anxiety and anger.  He knows he is different, he wants to belong and be part of what his classmates are doing.  So, often, he feels left out and excluded.  He has such a strict view of what he thinks is "fair", and he is especially concerned when rules are followed or broken.  He wants to be first, he wants to win, he wants to be perfect the first time.
  I know Casey has a lot to learn and he is learning.  This year has been so much better than past years, but I still worry.  Next year is middle school, new challenges, new problems....sigh.
  He is very excited to go to middle school, he is looking forward to the opportunity to play an instrument and to do the things his older sisters talk about.  He is a great kid, funny, smart...a fairly typical 11 year old (whatever typical is?)
  I have to say I do look forward to summer and a break from school stuff.  Lead me to the pool!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Ah, Monday, so we meet again.  I have to say I hate you very much.  My weekends go way to fast with way too much to do and not really getting anything done.  Plus, Bernhard is off on Mondays (for now) and I want to spend time with him, but again I won't get to...blah...*whine*
   It was a good weekend though, ladies breakfast at Mark and Patty's, really good, really great fellowship.  I love our church!  I liked what Patty shared from their time in Hawaii, the word of the year to a sister in Christ-Relentless-I like that word.  It really describes this year so far and I hope my attitude toward what God has put on my heart for 2012.  It is a new season in our lives and I want to be relentless in my pursuit of God's call on my life.
  Great service in church-word of the LORD through Matthew for Bernhard and I-Timing.  That's what we have been praying for and seeking and waiting on-God's timing for every area of our lives and His call and our ministries.  Jesus, live your dream through my life.
  This is the day the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

  Oh for a little time to myself, without children breathing over my shoulder while I surf the web.  Don't get me wrong, I love, adore and enjoy my children...truly.  But, I have noticed that I get very little if no "alone" time.  Is that a selfish desire?  I don't know, makes me feel like I am ungrateful,  makes me feel guilty for feeling that way.  I just would like to have quiet, a little piece of solitude, a day off just for me. 
  I know I am truly blessed to have the family I always wanted.  A wonderful husband, funny kids, a great mom and brothers and sisters that make me feel so loved.
  I don't know how this blog will go, or how witty I will be.  I just want to maybe share what is going on in my little corner of the world, and vent occasionally (or daily...or hourly)
  We are getting ready to go to church.  Looking forward to what our pastor and his wife have to share about their recent sabbatical.
  Looking forward to just relaxing this afternoon and going to see Mom and Julie's new house they will be moving into this week.